I was surfing around stoically and then suddenly something struck me. I felt like I should dedicate something to my blog of about three years and counting. It’s been with me through all the shit I’ve faced, all the joys I’ve ever had and everything else in my life for the past few years it’s pretty amazing when I think back. It might’ve been just random ramblings or some strange things which were persistently clinging in my mind that I desperately wanted to be rid of, but beneath all that, ah, the quintessence of my short life of sixteen years.
It might not be an active and engaging friend, this blog of mine, neither is it very pleasing to look at most of the time, but after all, I’d still consider it as one. Not that I have a schizo personality or that I’m merely delusional, it’s just after all these while I’ve grown attached to something inanimate that I turn to at the darkest moments of my life even though I don’t receive anything constructive from it. What you normally would call, ‘an outlet for venting’.
I don’t necessarily spill everything out because some things are just too sensitive to make it to the world wide web (ah, dysfunctioning ‘w’), but I’d like to believe the main gist of everything is there. Although sometimes I really wonder if I intentionally warp certain ideas because it’s what I want people to see me as, such that starts developing some facade over my true inner self, which I don’t deny that I despise quite badly sometimes. Frankly, I do learn or begin to see things in a more enlightening and refreshing perspective upon reading past entries though, it’s really something different to behold. Mindsets change as we grow, matured or not, it’s sometimes rather disheartening to know that we’re not the same person that we used to be. Perhaps because it’s in tandem with my dislike for change, I react quite strongly, emotionally to things that I’m unable to let go of which has been swiftly stolen away by time.
Seriously, why do I have the time for all these.