Whales, sharks & doodles

After drinking 黑鸡炖药材汤, I feel happier {: Haven’t had that in ages.

Today something hit me again. (no not literally, if that’s what you’re thinking, whoever you are) I didn’t exactly want to be reminded about it since I swore to myself I do not want regrets coming my way. But I couldn’t help it. It just kept coming, from you, you, you, you, everybody for that matter. They ask me, “Why?”

And as my mind begins to internalise this question which has been lightly hounding me for a while, I started to think; the clogwork in my mind started reversing up and it kinda got stuck in a trance.

Somehow I’ve been living with it for the past few months, though it nibbles at my emotions occasionally. The fact that we all make mistakes is unavoidable and they’re ways to go about salvaging it but it just wouldn’t feel the same. I could have been happier, or worse off if I went ahead with whatever I was thinking initially, but who knows? Who really knows?

I was thinking wouldn’t being able to accept things mean that regretting shouldn’t come into the picture at all? Perhaps the intensity of it has subsided given the time that has passed and the things I’ve gone through, which are basically quite a lot seeing that it’s only been – what? – close to six months of school?

It’s been a long way, and there’s more paths to tread. From now it’d be trying to psych myself to look ahead, instead of constantly looking back, harping at the past and thinking of whatever I’ve lost in the making because I might just lose even more.

Things in the future might just get even better, oh boy. Well I can’t say that I haven’t been happy at all for the past few months, in fact, I’ve been leading a passably (wonder about the existence of this word) happy life. I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be worthwhile to trade what I’ve got at present for that little thing I could have if I were to change my mind. I’m really satisfied with everything there is to be grateful for and just that one thing again: things would definitely be drastically different than what it is right now if I’d change that very thing which could pivot my life into a whole new galaxy.

&now, I will never change it for the world {:

Ah auβerdem, bin ich sehr stolz über meinen Aufsatz! (Y)


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