Like any other transition into the new year, getting used to writing 2012 is pretty difficult. We’ve spent so much time dating events, memories, things with 2011 that some of us are still living in the previous year. For me, ‘last year’ sort of still refers to 2010, when we just graduated from junior college. I take longer to respond to the change in year, maybe because I’d spent new year’s day abroad and the coming of the new year didn’t really hit me. Or maybe because it didn’t really matter as much anymore. Some how as we grow older and time passes, some things begin to matter less, and others more. Things are happening too fast that I’m having trouble grasping how I’m changing as a person. At times I do reflect on the things I used to do/want to do but don’t bother doing now but I generally let that pass me by. To be honest, 2011 is the fastest year that’s ever happened in my life and I’ve got to agree – time really flies when you’re having fun.
I still remember I had some ideals and fears of the future. Much of those are invalid by now. My attitude towards those has changed, some for the better and some, the worse. Have been thinking about reviving some of those lost feelings but I haven’t got the time and the strength, mentally (or I’m just plain lazy). Feels like every other ambition I harboured has gone to waste except for the ones I’m
struggling hoping to fulfil right now.
With that, I realised many unexpected things happened along the way, ones which made me enlightened, relieved, surprised and occasionally disappointed. But most of them made me feel like I’m a very very lucky girl. How I managed to step out of my comfort zone to a certain extent, how I come across great people who are always here for me and how I’ve managed to maintain strong friendships throughout the years till now, how I took that one step to get to wherever I am right now. I think luck has really played a big part in my life, as much as it should not be the case, and it really showed in 2011. Ultimately, I’m just glad to be alive.
In 2012, I really need to grow some self-confidence and the strength to pull through whatever endeavours that I commit myself to. I haven’t been very consistent in that aspect but I do hope the new year will knock some discipline into me, and at the same time grant me some sensibility that I am who I am and that I don’t need to change for anybody else to see.
Let’s see what happened in 2011:
Worked with High Achievers as a part time facilitator, gave tuition.
Results received, application for university.
Dear Grandma passed away peacefully.
Travelled to Hong Kong with the girls in April.
Travelled to Taiwan with family in June.
Travelled to Penang with Ethel in July.
School started in August – camps, lectures, tutorials, mid-terms, table tennis.
Passed my driving test, obtained driving license in August, a day after my birthday.
Friends flew off to UK.
Final exams in November.
Travelled to Taiwan with the team in December.
Received decent results.
Travelled to China with family in December – spent Christmas and New Year’s there.
Pretty happening year I must say. Got to travel around quite a bit, an eye-opening 2011 indeed. Hopefully 2012 can compare to the fantastic year I had. Anticipating the 3 month long break! Haven’t written such a long and meaningful post in a while but it really gave me some peace to calm the terrible day I had. Will write again soon.