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Post training thoughts

教练昨天真的给高球!! all uni students already still get so excited. But never underestimate the satisfaction one gets out of channeling all the negative energy accumulated from the past week into forcefully whacking the shit out of it. Or imagine the face of someone who’s offended you on that ball lolol And 多球 just made me realize I’ve got an awkwardly flailing left arm that needs to be kept in control, and how majorly unfit I am because my reflex is just becoming slower than it already is.. and I just stare at the ball fly past me when it goes out of range. “跑!要跑!!!” Ya I also know but…my physical fitness limits the things I can do after months of not exercising regularly. It’s time to do something about it.

It was fun, after that long break, to see all my girls again, listen to all of them talk nonsense and do lame shit like making dice out of dented balls and plotting to bring it over to kl to gamble hurrr I love my team 🙂

Just the other day was talking to Ethel over Jai Thai lunch about how other people don’t understand how much it takes to get to where we are and the reason why we push ourselves beyond the limit, beyond basic requirements of keeping fit. Sometimes it’s not just about losing weight or toning up, neither is it about strengthening cardio or immunity so we wouldn’t fall sick, it’s mostly because we love what we’re doing and that push, that drive to become better at it keeps us going. Not understanding is one thing, like how I wouldn’t be able to understand what others go through, but passing ignorant or derogatory remarks is another. It’s like drills, in sports. Drills are absolutely one of the most important thing in foundational training, but I’ve heard someone ever comment they got bored after just one session of drills and why are they constantly doing it, or they leave halfway because it gets so mundane and routine that they needed something more exciting to occupy themselves with. Sure I may be expecting too much because after all, they’re just looking for recreation, but to be honest, enjoying the sport comes with improvement. Getting better at it could mean more fun and exciting games. It’s totally like scales in music, it’s so fucking boring (to me) but that’s the necessary foundation we all begin working on and only by mastering such techniques can you can enjoy playing proper pieces. In that same experience, there were others there to learn, in earnest..I personally find displaying such attitude in front of these people a little insensitive. Fine you don’t want to do it that’s your problem, but others want to. Appreciating that we all have our weaknesses is another trait we all ought to have; we’re all learning. I say this because as one of the weaker players I’ve received so much patience, help and guidance from others I believe it’s only right to return it. If your partner is weaker, hold back that sneer or harsh criticism, find constructive ones, don’t complain about boredom (this really deals a damaging blow to the other party’s self esteem) but find joy in helping them improve, even if it’s just a game out of fun. Trust me you’ll definitely get more out of it. I’ve been on both ends so I’ve seen enough to be able to say this. That satisfaction you get, no matter how little the improvement, is something I can’t really describe. But if one doesn’t give a damn, I’ll tell the person to go find somebody their own league seriously, hope you end up on the receiving end of help then you’ll be able to know how it feels like.

Sometimes people are too fixated on being the fastest – the faster the better. You do feel good when you’re fast but that’s not it. It’s more about control, knowing when to be fast and when to slow down, when to exert and when not to; it’s about persistence, lasting out longer, more so than speeding up until you burn out. And I’m learning, all the time. Easy to say but not easy to put to practice either. Have to admit I’m no pro but the life lessons sports bring is worth all the time and effort.

On another note, I’ve always looked up to Ethel as a role model ^^ how does one find that kind of discipline to gym and lift six days a week. She’s looking fantastic right now, that glow on her face. I’m really glad she chose to do what she loves and is no longer bothered by what others say of her. Other people just wouldn’t be able to understand, really, not even me. But I definitely stand on her side 🙂

You know, think I’ve beat the inertia to start writing again, and glad I did.

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Time

I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately. You know, the kind of talk where you just sit somewhere, pour your heart out, clean and honest. I’m so glad there’s always people there for me. As much as I enjoy my alone time, it feels really comforting to share some things face to face, whether you bare that little part of your soul, reveal some emotions kept hidden for a long time, or basically just ranting about life. I wasn’t someone who would be willing to speak about personal things very often but I’ve really come to appreciate how this thing called HTHT magically helps to lift this burgeoning burden off your shoulders. Then today something struck me. Out of all the conversations I’ve had, there was this idea always resonating amidst the dialogue, almost always said with a sigh, deflated and with a heavy sense of resignation – that we’re getting old.

Don’t people only call themselves old when they hit 50 or something…Like c’mon we barely hit 21 and this is what we start to yak about, the quarter-life crisis. Well, turning 21 is a pretty valid concern. For one, it’s when most of us start to acknowledge a transition. Our vision is no longer fixated on studies alone, but whether or not they’ll be a job for us when we graduate, whether we’ll be able to survive out there on our own. Suddenly everything becomes so real. I’m starting to feel pretty scared myself as I type this.

I always tell myself to take one step at a time. Like how my prof likes to say “We’ll cross the bridge when we get there”. Oh yeah sure sounds good. We always say, progress takes time, growth takes time, healing from hurt takes time, but the truth is nobody has that luxury of time. It’s so easy to use time as an excuse, or something to comfort ourselves with. I don’t know, half our lives spent waiting for something that we aren’t sure is going to happen or not knowing how it’s going to turn out. Maybe that’s why some people are constantly on the go, striving for something, wanting more, always challenging time in a race that never ends until their life is up. They don’t want to wait for time to show them progress nor help them heal, they just keep at it until they get what they want. Then again there are others who spent their lives trying so hard only to regret not having slowed a single moment to enjoy life as it is. So just what is it?

There is so much irony in life I’m reeling in confusion at the moment. Does not help that some things are bugging me at the back of my mind. I need 高球 therapy right now.

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후아유

I think I feel exceptionally emotional when I’ve just finished watching dramas, tragic or touching ones. Things can just happen out of the blue and people can simply enter your lives out of nowhere…

Who Are You was a good one. I swear I didn’t watch it because of Taecyeon and I didn’t have a good impression of So Yi Hyun initially (after that terrible drama You’ve Fallen For Me) but it somehow caught my attention and by the end of it I felt it’d been worth following. Everything was so well thought out and the main arc of the story unfolded really well at crucial points in the drama. Of course 우리 잘 생긴 오빠 aka 김재욱 씨 did keep me watching 😉 The first few episodes scared the shit out of me, really. I began watching it one quiet midnight alone in the middle of the seventh lunar month and that was when the detective had her first encounter with Dan Oh Reum, the student who committed suicide had blood streaming down her head. It was already one of the more relatively mild-looking ghosts but seemed pretty grotesque to me since I’m not one who would spontaneously watch horror-related films or productions. So Yi Hyun was really good in portraying the Si-on, one who was lost and confused about her identity with a pretty sombre outlook on life, a given for someone who just woke up from a six year long sleep and was unknowingly implicated in a huge smuggling case. She somehow retained her spunky personality – she actually graduated as the top student of the police academy – and was naturally fast to catch on with what was going on in her life despite her losing her memory. I also liked how Taecyeon’s child-like personality complemented her solemn and no-nonsense attitude, they make a great team (Y). I never approved of older women dating younger guys in dramas (I’m stereotypical like that) but this one just seemed really befitting of them. Although Geonwoo came across as really immature at times, he showed he was really capable of catching criminals (1 point) while he was still in the investigation squad for one, and also a shooting ace (1 point). And he has this vulnerable, emotional side to him that made him seem more mature when the time called for it (10 points). His story about his mentally retarded father who came back as a ghost and communicated with him through Si-on made me tear. It was really ironic to me initially, how both of them, being such capable police, were ‘banished’ to the lost and found department, sorting and cleaning lost items from the subway but I guess that’s the only way they could access items associated with the ghosts and subsequently help them redress their grievances. Well at least that made the story unique in a way.

Really enjoyed their cute but awkward moments like the one where they were snatching a pillow and when Geonwoo gave a forceful tug, Si-on just flopped over a dazed Geonwoo with an adorable squeal. That was so atypical of Si-on but I guess that was when she was starting to let go of our 잘 생긴 오빠 and discovering her true self, how she was like six years ago, equally child-like and talkative like how Geonwoo is right now (and probably in the process of accepting Geonwoo). Was hoping to find a gif of that but I couldn’t…

THIS hahaha is Geonwoo’s way of clearing the sofa. Credits to babochanbear’s tumblr.

The twist in the plot came really timely too although this twist was all too predictable – usually the good guys are the worst baddies. This Moon Hong Joo, the to-be commander-in-chief, was so good at acting in both real and reel life that I was so thoroughly convinced of his fatherliness and that he earnestly wished for Si-on to stay out of this mess for her own safety. But when they gradually revealed him to be the main perpetrator of this smuggling case who partook in the bribery of government officials and took a few innocent lives, he had on him a whole new set of expressions which made him look like a total badass. How disappointing.

잘 생긴 오빠 is honestly the saddest case in history. First of all having to wait till after your raid to propose to your girl, then taking off your bullet proof vest so you could put on that couple shirt she bought, being shot by a senior you’ve trusted so much, not dying but body suffering in a coma somewhere unknown, still painfully holding on cuz can’t let go of your girl, hanging around as a ghost still wearing that couple shirt all.the.time and seeing everything happen right in front of your eyes – including her being harrassed and attacked by the baddies, oh and also kissed by Geonwoo *stab in the heart*, finally, sacrificing himself to save her then dissipating into thin air (empty shell of a body dies) once she’s safe. Oh I could go on and on. How can such a good looking dude be subjected to this kind of misery…lol. Well I guess it all makes for a better plot that actually makes people feel indignant for him.

I’d say Taec did a good job, but like many others I suppose Kim Jae Wook and So Yi Hyun had better chemistry, somehow. I’d love to see all three of them on the small screen again soon!

Aside
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I have no idea why but my mind likes to play tricks on me by making me dream about utterly ridiculous things and I’d wake up in the morning feeling like I’m caught in some limbo between reality and fantasy. It’s not like that feeling just dissipates after awhile, like after a while you get that it’s just a dream, but it lingers for the whole day?? That bothers me a lot >.>

Anyway, ‘ve been hanging out with my dear girl Claire for the past two weeks, a lot. Well I won’t get to see her at all once she goes back, and she might have to leave early. We still have so many places to go before she leaves!! Can’t believe we haven’t been to the Merry Men at all. Last wednesday night with the ladies was really fun, so many free drinks I swear, I could go on if not for my curfew. 

The past few weeks has been rather happening I must say, things I never knew I’d have the opportunity to do. The research on Apollonia has been amazing, it’s not everyday you get to touch such rare fossil specimens and work with them hands on.

Now all that’s left to do is enjoy the remaining of my summer and look forward to a whole new term.